EADGBE

It's been some time since I last posted anything up here, and I feel again like things are getting un-bearable. I always say that, and somehow I'm still around. Must be full of empty thoughts.

I tend to make things much more complicated than they really should be. Like why don't I just come out and say, "You know what? You're an awesome person, whom I admire a great deal. Why don't we date?"

Because of my irrational fear of rejection. Totally irrational. We already hang out. Not terribly often, because you're busy. But I feel comfortable enough in saying that we've been going on casual, friendly dates.

Here's what I like about you though, you don't really seem like the kind of person who takes things "relationship"-y things terribly serious. You don't seem to fall into what is often self-inflicted drama for the sake of drama. THAT'S fucking sexy.

At least your friend(s?) seem to think that we hang out "more often than the average friends of the opposite sex". Maybe that counts for something. Doubt it.

I always tell myself that I'm lazy. Largely because I am. Just once I should really buckle down and commit myself to some self-improvement. Let's start something this week.

Options:

A) Some kind of work-out regimen:
*Just something simple like walking around to start off with. I do this in the summer when I'm working with KL. I also think I'll buy a bike and do more of that. Paternal inspiration there.

B) Dust off the fucking guitar:
* I've honestly written "Wash Me" in dust on the poor neglected soul.

C) Begin the process of going back to college:
* This is wicked fucking hard, expensive, and not totally feasible right now. I'll probably put it off for a bit.

Also, I would still like to die.